For the second time in a week I have run into the ugliest girls I ever met. I’m not being mean. It’s simply true — they’re hideous. Dubbed “Monster High Girls”, they are 10 inch or so fashion dolls and marketed to little children ages 6 to 12. They have been around since last summer, although I’ve been blessed not to have seen them until now. These manufacturer-proclaimed “fashionista dolls” are supposedly the teenage daughters of famous monsters like Frankenstein, Dracula and Werewolf. They are dressed in tight, black, purple or aqua tummy-showing, gothic-looking outfits. They have doe eyes. Some have pouty open lips with fangs and heavy makeup. They were lurking last week in aisle four of Target, beckoning my daughter and me in sassy poses, right between Barbie and My Little Pony.
Now, you may not be the biggest Barbie fan, and I’ll give you that Barbie has her own issues: clothes that often show her cleavage and a bit more glitz, glam and self-aggrandizing sparkle than some moms want for their smart daughters, but let’s be honest here — Barbie is relatively harmless. I mean, she does ballet in Twelve Dancing Princesses, has a princess ball gown collection (pretty and fairly modest too), owns some sweet vintage clothes. She becomes a vet, marries Ken, has a baby and is nice to her cute little sister Kelly, who is a flower girl and goes to birthday parties. These “Monster High Girls”, however, are a cross between Bratz dolls and sexy goth vamps, some sporting unusual piercings or wearing ultra-short skirts with black fishnet hose and stiletto heels. There are fangs on some and horns on another. My opinion is that they normalize the occult. Did I mention these are for little girls aged 6 to 12?
So, tonight I was in a trendy children’s store looking for a certain type of white sweater for my nine-year-old who is singing in a choir event tomorrow. We had already checked Kohls for what we needed and since we had no luck there I thought I’d try this other store, which was in the same strip mall. At this store, unlike at Target which I’d been to earlier, the Monster girls had their own creepy corner. It was like a little room of Halloween amidst an otherwise bright and cheery atmosphere. Displayed in that odd corner was Monster girl glitzy clothing too — Skulls and pink – black bats and sequins. I was really surprised. Are there really moms who don’t mind their daughters playing in the sandbox or going to gymnastics in these?
The Monster girls are getting rave reviews from toy bloggers and collectors. They’re called ‘cute’ (I had to read that 
again — I could have sworn they said ‘cut’.) They were called “hot new toys”. Well, I guess I agree with the “hot”. Do people really see these horrid things as innocuous playthings for their children? It’s hard to fathom.
Later at home, I got online to investigate and I found out that the Monster High dolls are just the beginning. They have a place to sleep, you know. It is called a Draculaura Jewelry Coffin. Imagine your sweet daughter putting her doll to bed in this:
When your girls are finished playing with their ghoulish dolls and tucking them into their coffins, they can then write their ideas down in a Monster Fearbook Journal, which comes with an old fashioned skull key . Inside the journal there is a ‘fiendish faculty ‘ page.
Now, according to a recent government report “Educator Sexual Misconduct:A Synthesis of Existing Literature” Prepared for the U.S. Department of Education By Charol Shakeshaft Hofstra University and Interactive, Inc., (and frankly, evidence everywhere in the newspapers and on the internet) teacher/student abuse is up. According to the government report, the percentage of U.S. students subject to sexual misconduct by school staff varies from 3.7 to 50.3 percent in some areas …and nearly 9.6 percent of students are targets of educator sexual misconduct sometime during their school career. Am I the only one who thinks that a toy manufacturer is insensitive to this when its notebook includes a “fiendish (“wicked”, “evil”, “monstrous”, “brutal”, “cruel”) faculty” page?
Mattel manufactures the “Monster High” girls (I don’t know if this surprises you but the same people who bring us Dora the Explorer and Polly Pocket manufactures these) According to Mattel’s own corporate responsibility statement, its “mission is to positively impact our people, our products and our planet.” Do they mean they try to positively impact their employees? Because I don’t really see how this product positively impacts any little people.
Let’s consider another “Monster High” product—the High Terrifying Tatoo roller which promises to “…make your daughter look like a student from Monster High! …. Just select a tattoo roller, place it in the bone applicator, roll it in 
ink, and apply to your skin. There are six designs to choose from — stitches, bite marks, claw marks, scales, snake skin, and mummy wrap.” Who needs hearts and flowers when you have this?
Now, before I go off on a tangent about the Monster High Icoffin, Transforming Bag, or Skull Sensor Door Alarm (not kidding) let’s meet a few of the girls who are based on monster movies and horror fiction: Here’s Clawdeen.
“The daughter of the Werewolf, this howlingly hip fashionista is totally fierce and sassy. Clawdeen Wolf doll is fully articulated and comes with a stand, so you can pose her in lots of fun ways”. She comes with her own black cat. Click on the “video demo” tab on the lower right of this web page to view where she goes to school.
Here’s Frankie Stein a “bold — and bolted — fashionista”.
The cool couple of Monster High includes “Daughter of the Mummy, Cleo de Nile™ … one sassy ghoul with a monster ‘tude, and Deuce Gorgon™, the son of Medusa” .
Oh, I forgot to tell you– everybody’s hands pop off.
If your daughters — did I mention aged six to 12? — want to watch episodes of Monster High on You Tube, they will have their choice with titles such as “Higher Deaducation”, “Beast Friends” and “Fear-a Mid- Power” – They can also go to MonsterHigh.com to see how they study “Home Ick” and “Mad Science” or play interactive games like “Freakout” , “Dawn of the Dance” or “Ghoul Juice” , the latter of which invites your child to participate with Ghoulia, to make ancient zombie potions.
The Monster High Fright song on You Tube, which casually introduces the characters, currently has more than four million hits — I’m guessing mostly kids, although I’m really not sure. Read the comment section to see how much kids love the catchy beat. Would you like to see the lyrics?
Fright Song lyrics
(Hahaha)
(Oh, you give me the chills!)
Walking down a darkened hallway
Everybody turns to look at you
It’s not because you’re different
It’s just because you’re so scary cool
A sinister style, mystery with a smile
You’re drop dead gorgeous, drop dead gorgeous
High school gives me the creeps, but when I’m with my
peeps
You can’t ignore us
This is where the ghoul kids rule!
Monster, monster high
Monster high
Monster, monster high
Come on, don’t be shy
Monster high
The party never dies
Monster, monster high
Monster high
Monster, monster high
Freaky chic,and fly
Monster high
Where student bodies lie
Hey, Frankie Stein’s got me falling apart
Draculaura’s stealing my heart
Clawdeen Wolf can make me howl at the moon
Yeah Lagoona Blue’s fishing this lagoon
Cleo De Nile, you’re so beguile
Even though you act so vile (uh huh)
And Deuce has stone-cold style
These are my boos, my skeleton crew
A little strange, but so are you
Don’t you wanna be a monster, too?
Oh, freaky just got fabulous
Everbody wants a piece of you
The stars all smile, let’s be realistic
Most characteristic, most hippin’ horrific
A sinister style, mystery with a smile
You’re drop dead gorgeous, drop dead gorgeous
High school gives me the creeps, but when I’m with my
peeps
You can’t ignore us
This is where the ghoul kids rule!
Monster, monster high
Monster high
Monster, monster high
Come on, don’t be shy
Monster high
The party never dies
Monster, monster high
Monster high
Monster, monster high
Freaky chic,and fly
Monster high
Where student bodies lie
M-O-N-S-T-E-R
Monsters, monsters, so bizarre
M-O-N-S-T-E-R
Monsters, monsters, yes we are
(x2)
(Monster, monster high
Monster high
Monster, monster high
Come on, don’t be shy
Monster high
The party never dies)
Monster, monster high
Monster high
Monster, monster high
Freaky chic,and fly
Monster high
Where student bodies lie
We’ve got spirits, yes we do
We’ve got spirits, how ’bout you?
(x2)
Did I mention “Monster High” girls are targeted to children age 6 to 12?
The dolls are already a big success.
