Open Your Heart and Family to Love!


When our first son was born, my oldest daughter was 7.  She had been an only child for so long, we believed she might have some concerns and insecurities over this new addition.  I remember talking to her the night our son was born.  Mom was still in the hospital.

I explained that the addition of a new baby did not split the love in the house between more people, but increased the love.  Love does not have limits.  Another person to love and to be loved will increase the happiness and not diminish it. 

I am not sure how much she understood of what I was trying to say, but after almost 20 years and 7 children, there is certainly is a lot of love and a lot of happiness in my house.

But I recalled this conversation the other night when my wife and I were discussing yet another couple we know who were getting “fixed” after their 2nd child.  They tell us, “Two is enough!”

I thought sarcastically, “Yeh, you don’t want too much love hanging around!”

Now I know that some couples for various reasons can not have children, or are limited to how many children they can have.  Their suffering while accepting God’s will for their families is a form of love itself.

But to go back to those healthy couples who choose to surgically or artificially limit the love in their families, I want to ask them: What if God limited His love, that is His creation, to just Adam and Eve?  Those first two, after all, were a troublesome pair. They didn’t obey very well. 

But God can not limit His love.  Creation is the ultimate expression of love, that is, the desire to share His life with us.  The fact that God allows man and woman to participate in His creative power, the sharing of His love, brings great responsibility — the responsibility to be the vessels of sharing God’s love by sharing our own love, sharing our own lives with the children God blesses us with in imitation of our Creator.

All Christians should be able to recognize these truths.


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  • Claire

    Beautiful article, and thank you for acknowledging the sacrifices of those of us who are unable to have large families.

    • Mary Kochan

      Claire, you and your husband were always obligated to keep your marriage “open to life” and for some who cannot form their family in the usual way, that means serving the poor, serving the children of others, etc. But you and your husband choose out of great generosity to demonstrate your openess to life by being adoptive parents, forever changing the story of one precious child of God (and I want to acknowledge the little ones you gave early to God also). We never, ever, mean for articles about large families, or Catholics sadly practicing contraception, to burden the hearts of generous souls like you. Who better to urge those who can to cherish the gift of children than someone who has had your struggles! ((hugs))

      • Claire

        Thank you Mary! That’s why I appreciated this article so much. It speaks the truth about being generous to life, while acknowledging that some people aren’t able to have a big family.