“There’s no food in our house. There’s never any food in our house. Who ate all the brownies? I didn’t even get one. When is the next somebody is going to the store? There’s nothing to do today. I’m so bored. Why do I have to clean the kitchen again? I cleaned it yesterday morning. Is it my turn to use the car? My room isn’t a mess. That’s my stuff. I can’t throw out my stuff. Why do they make us go to school at 7:45 in the morning? Can’t we just sleep in?”
Ah, the life of a teenager. My sister said it wouldn’t be easy. Our neighbors tell me, “Take it like water off a duck’s back.” Uncle Bob says, “Kids are spoiled these days.” My father suggests, “Just do the best you can.” Dale Carnegie writes, “Never criticize, condemn or complain.” I’m sure there is at least one right answer among these but being a comedian I keep my sanity by finding humor in this ever-growing list of grievances.
Remembering my own teenager years, I felt I had a legitimate list of complaints. Every bump in the road that seemed out of my control upset the apple cart. Being well on the other side of this transition, I am amazed and humored by the trauma that can be found in everyday living for a teenager.
Being a mom, I know my place well in society when accompanying a teenager. When I drop my daughter off at a movie, I have to stay low and out of sight as if we are on some sort of undercover drug operation. There is an “up” side. Whenever I go out with a friend, I am so happy to be out in public with someone who is not embarrassed to be seen with me. We live one block from the school. Being a trained mom, I know I dare not venture outside of my house when other teenagers are walking to school. Nobody can be seen with “MOM” – that is so uncool. No more hugs and kisses “good-bye” in the driveway. No more helping with backpacks or school lunches. I laugh at the thought that I am now a troll mom living in my troll house. I realize that one wink of the eye could ruin my teenagers rank among fellow teenagers. … This troll has power!
Do you think my husband is intimidated by his lack of cool? Hardly. He holds the keys to high school life in the pocket of his terrycloth robe. One too many complaints from the teen gallery and he threatens to run out the front door – his dog fur covered robe blowing in the wind with a striped boxer short teaser.
Fellow troll moms — love these days of transition. Remember your own transition to adulthood. It’s a tough time and like it or lump it, appearance and status in Teenland is everything. We all recognize the tendancies. Now it is so much fun being on the other side — fuzzy slippers, bleach-stained t-shirt, sans makeup, knowing who’s really in control!