Don’t it Make My Blue Eyes Green


I had one of those days last week. The kind that starts out with a bad hair morning and snowballs into: I have no cute clothes, I’m a lousy writer, I’m a bad mom, etc.

Naturally, this “I’m-Not-Good-At-Anything” day morphed into a “She’s-Good-At-Everything” day. Yes, the green-eyed monster reared its ugly head.

[Please note: in the scenarios below, “She” and “Her” are hypothetical examples to demonstrate my irrationality, but if you see yourself in She or Her, congratulations and I hope we’re still friends.]

  • I need a haircut.
    Monster: She always looks put-together, she must make more money.
  • My clothes, blech!
    Monster: See above.
  • Why can’t I get this story written?
    Monster: If I had as much time as Her, I’d be a better writer.
  • My kids don’t like me.
    Monster: I’m sure She never yells at her kids.
  • My house is a mess.
    Monster: She has a housekeeper.

I knew I needed to pull myself out of that pathetic, poor-me state ASAP, so I picked up my copy of “God, I Have Issues: 50 Ways To Pray No Matter How You Feel” and turned to page 101: jealousy.

“My salvation came not in solving the problem and becoming completely free of jealousy, but rather in my acknowledgment of this problem in prayer. After doing so, it became a sort of joke for God and me.” —Mark E. Thibodeaux, S.J.

Alright, I teased God: “You made me this way; I guess this is how You must want me… more or less.” We had a good laugh, and I moved on… more or less.


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